I decided to start this blog after the death of my wife Katie from Lung Cancer on the 8th April 2017. I hope to explain better the journey of grief,hope, love and identity so that people may identify and better understand. I hope it will help me along this journey also.
Wednesday, 6 September 2017
It's the simple things
Today is an important day, not only is it my mums birthday it is also a day very special to Katie and I.
I asked Katie earlier this year what her favourite memory of us was. I thought she would say one of the stand out moments like our wedding day(mine) or our honeymoon. But things with Katie were never obvious or simple...
She said her favourite memory was on this day, 7th September 2013.
10 days before this we had gone out for dinner at her behest. She had something to tell me and after 2 years of trying to woo her I knew what it was. She told me she "thought" she might like me too. Thought......couldn't say she did! That would be too easy.
We agreed to try and move things forward and went out that Saturday night for our first "date". It was an unmitigated disaster!! There was so much nervous energy and tension from us both that the entire evening was "walking in on your parents" awkward. I was crestfallen and thought I had ruined my chance.
We had a few awkward messages over the next few days and Katie came over to tell me she didn't think it would work out. I didn't know what to say except "I don't think this is the end".
So along came Saturday 7th and we met up to walk my dogs around Bricket Wood next door to where she lived. It was a lovely sunny day and we had just left the wooded area and were walking along the clearing at the centre.
"I hope we can still be friends" she said. I was so in love with her that I knew this would be impossible. Just walking with her having come so close a week before was painful enough. "Our friendship is over" What the fuck have I just said?! "We have to give it a go, you and me but I can't just be friends anymore. It won't work, I am too in love with you". I then hugged her.
And that was it. Katie's favourite ever moment. Why? Because as she told me, that was the moment her life changed forever, the moment she realised she had to stop resisting and that hug became the most comforting hug she ever had. And suddenly things with Katie are so obvious and simple.....
I think it is now my favourite moment too.
Love and hugs to all xxx
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I love this Daniel as I loved her and you and this tells everyone what was important to Katie not materials not money but letting you love her xxxx
ReplyDeletethabks Lara. It does speak volumes about her doesn't it? Hope you guys are doing ok . Xx
DeleteDaniel. We are truly sorry about Katie.
ReplyDeleteWe are going through immunotherapy for lung cancer in the family as it can be afforded but I understand there is a campaign to make it available on the National Health. Can you let me have any information. Many thanks Roz and Chris