Sunday, 6 August 2017

The Devastating Loss Diet

The devastating loss diet
I don't think it is going to catch on....It doesn't have the same ring as the paleo diet, the Atkins diet, the 5 & 2 diet. Also it requires a pretty big commitment. Not sure most people would make the sacrifice. Some of you are looking up from your phones right now, looking at your partners and weighing it up! Any lengths to shift those pounds!!!

In the months leading up to Katie's passing I ate, a lot. I didn't exercise as regularly as usual as not only did our situation not always allow for it but quite frankly I didn't want to. After Katie died I lost weight quite fast. Food was no longer a comfort. Nothing was. My appetite left me, as did the taste of food, it was no longer cuisine it was just fuel to keep me alive.

People started commenting. Some were concerned with my weight loss but most had a very different reaction. "Wow, you look great", I did, obviously but that's not the point. It seemed to help people believe that if I looked good I must be ok or if they pointed out how I looked it would somehow be well received. "It's called the devastating loss diet, you should try it" I would think but never say. I had already learnt rather quickly that outside of your own circle people don't expect you to still have humour.

Let me be clear this is not a judgement on anyone, I did not start this blog in order to rant at the world. The world is imperfect, I know that. I am imperfect, I have made many mistakes and have made as many thoughtless and inappropriate comments as the next person particularly when I'm in a situation I couldn't possibly understand. I am just trying to explain honestly how I felt. That doesn't mean I have lost the ability to reason.

What struck me about this was just how easy it is to suffer in silence. If you think someone looks OK you naturally assume they are. Why? Is it easier for us? Is it because we don't think it's our business to pry? Is the sufferer's aura and uncomfortable smile enough to put us off trying? Whatever the reason we all do it.

I was and am in a world of pain. Getting up in the morning is a victory. Surviving the next few hours and getting out the house is a challenge. By the end of each day I am exhausted but grateful I can scratch another day off. I win. No one else sees this or knows. I feel vulnerable just writing this to you all. But I am not hiding, I am doing things in spite of how I feel (carefully chosen I might add but that's for another time)! I am currently camping in snowdonia with 5 old friends, hiking, canyoning and enjoying the great outdoors as best I can. There are people suffering who are not as well supported as I am and I think of them often.

I have no solution to how we perceive and treat people, I am not even proposing that we do anything wrong. I am merely observing and sharing. Perhaps just changing our perception will help our reaction. Who knows?

I you are interested in the devastating loss diet probably best to private message me!!

Much love to all


p.s if you subscribe on the web page you will get notified whenever I post, much easier than checking! Just fill in your email address where indicated. Cheers xx


  1. A lot of people have told me they are having trouble posting on here. I will try and find out what is going wrong and rectify it shortly. Daniel x

  2. Thank you for your blog Daniel. I worked with Katie, a beautiful, extraordinary, gifted and insightful young woman x

    1. Hi Hilary, of course I know who you are. Your the lady with the wedding hat!! Thank you for your comments. Due to your line of work please feel free to mention this blog to anyone you may feel it could resonate with. Daniel x

  3. Hi Daniel,

    I am following your blog. I am so grateful that you started it. Reading it for me is really helpful as I can relate to what you write so very much. I lost my mum to cancer on the same day you lost your dear wife, Katie.

    I have tried to find where I need to type in my email address as you suggested so that I can receive the blogs without having to keep checking. Im not sure if I'm looking in the wrong place as I can't seem to find where to do this?

    Sending love Daniel and thanks again for starting this blog. I appreciate it ..... alot.

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